nishlo: face down… ass up… that’s the way I like to pick up the pencil u dropped don’t even worry about it man I got you!
matzoballer: your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey tell your mom i said hi
musicbeatstherapy: jelee-: rockpapertheodore: tinyspacebabe: ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore you sound fannytroubled a little bootybothered if you ask me someone’s having a little tushytantrum
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your...– Joan Crawford (via seventh-victim)
repeating-serenity: my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to...– Hermann Hesse (via likeafieldmouse)
maccasmiz: letspretendthatimbritish: I think it’s safe to say we’re all in love with a serial killer and his boyfriend. Today on “which fandom is this?”…
selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
jessdunn18: zapppping: just-another-puzzle: markohppus: bceky: markohppus: giving birth is essentially just like pooping except out a different hole are your poops covered in blood and start screaming and crying only after i eat mexican food olé omg does your ass stretch to the size of a fucking football ….?
randomstuff134: sodamnrelatable: take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
rneerkat: whens chip skylarks next tour
onedirectionpancakes: unsuccessfulmetalbenders: this is bill haders last show on snl and im about to fling myself off a bridge Bill Hader is so hot like jesus